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RESPONSES TO THINGS
WHAT ARE JUMPING UP AND DOWN ON MY LAST NERVE.
Really, i been brewing a couple ideas here for a while, but am finally gonna vomit them out.
I do not understand people who talk about all the privileges they did not have as why they don't get white privilege. I grew up welfare poor,(actually social security poor, so i envied welare kids because they got foodstamps and school lunches) no insurance, raised by a widowed alchoholic abuse survivor mom and her mother. I was mentally different to the point where i no longer had sane privilege early on, and was one of like 4 white girls in my neighborhood, i didn't have local majority privilege, and sometimes even got fucked with for being white.
So you'd think if anyone was gonna pull some "what privilege? just because i was white doesn't mean i wasn't OPPRESSED!" BULLLSHIT IT'D BE ME. but instead, when i irst heard the term White Privilege, i was like "holy shit, there's a name for it" an recognized myself in it. Because since white priv was the only one I had, it was really obvious to me that when i was treated diferent than my classmates and neighbors, it was a white thing.
So, it makes my brain explode when people think lack of other privileges cancel out white privilege. THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS.
ALSO, THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO UNDERSTAND ABOUT SOMEONE ELSE'S PAIN IS THAT YOU CAN NEVER REALLY UNDERSTAND IT LIKE THEY DO.
I could type or an hour about, frex, y labor pains, or my mental episodes, but if you haven't felt them, you can't do more than relate, not understand. So it is not the job of people who have been hurt to try to ake you understand their pain. They can explain what hurt them, and you can FUCKING LISTEN, and try to relate, and accept that ven though you can not understand their pain, it is STILL REAL AS FUCK. AND EVERYONE'S EXPERIENCES OF PAIN WILL BE DIFFERENT.IT DOES NOT MINIMIZE YOUR PAINS TO ACCEPT OTHERS HAVE PAIN TOO.
And as ar as deanding others help you understand, go read, it's out there.
my god, people. stfu.
Really, i been brewing a couple ideas here for a while, but am finally gonna vomit them out.
I do not understand people who talk about all the privileges they did not have as why they don't get white privilege. I grew up welfare poor,(actually social security poor, so i envied welare kids because they got foodstamps and school lunches) no insurance, raised by a widowed alchoholic abuse survivor mom and her mother. I was mentally different to the point where i no longer had sane privilege early on, and was one of like 4 white girls in my neighborhood, i didn't have local majority privilege, and sometimes even got fucked with for being white.
So you'd think if anyone was gonna pull some "what privilege? just because i was white doesn't mean i wasn't OPPRESSED!" BULLLSHIT IT'D BE ME. but instead, when i irst heard the term White Privilege, i was like "holy shit, there's a name for it" an recognized myself in it. Because since white priv was the only one I had, it was really obvious to me that when i was treated diferent than my classmates and neighbors, it was a white thing.
So, it makes my brain explode when people think lack of other privileges cancel out white privilege. THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS.
ALSO, THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO UNDERSTAND ABOUT SOMEONE ELSE'S PAIN IS THAT YOU CAN NEVER REALLY UNDERSTAND IT LIKE THEY DO.
I could type or an hour about, frex, y labor pains, or my mental episodes, but if you haven't felt them, you can't do more than relate, not understand. So it is not the job of people who have been hurt to try to ake you understand their pain. They can explain what hurt them, and you can FUCKING LISTEN, and try to relate, and accept that ven though you can not understand their pain, it is STILL REAL AS FUCK. AND EVERYONE'S EXPERIENCES OF PAIN WILL BE DIFFERENT.IT DOES NOT MINIMIZE YOUR PAINS TO ACCEPT OTHERS HAVE PAIN TOO.
And as ar as deanding others help you understand, go read, it's out there.
my god, people. stfu.
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*hug*
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White privilege was so glaringly obvious to me when I got to America, because while this country kinda hates all immigrants, you can basically sit back and watch the weird-ass dynamics unfold as you learn enough English and all of a sudden teachers and employers love the nice little white girl you are (too bad about your accent, but close!), and condescend to the minority students and scoff at them behind their backs. And you're like, "oic."
And yeah I just had this fight with my mom because she was telling me how'd she fix her depression and panic if she were me. I just walked away, she's a pretty insensitive person.
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IT IS COOL HOW YOU ARE AWESOME
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THIS.
WTF clueless people, it isn't a zero-sum game.
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One thing I consistently run into when discussing white privilege with other white people is this idea what when I say "white privilege" I mean "class privilege" and if they grew up poor (like me) it doesn't apply to them, or something.
This often makes me want to punch people. (Usually I just tell them to google search "unpacking the invisible backpack" instead, though.)
It is very nice to hear that I am not the only white person who gets this.
So yay. Thank you.
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I'm disadvantaged in several ways and I do not get the "but I'm oppressed too! BAWWW!" reaction. Because it's quite obvious to me that the different disadvantages manifest in amazingly different ways, and that being a member of X minority does not actually help me at all to figure out my experiences as member of Y minority - so why on earth should any my disadvantages mean I know what it's like to be a PoC?
And, yes. You don't have to have empathy in order to have sympathy, and there's a certain point after which attempted empathy becomes insulting.