eh

I should try to be productive. But I am so torn between writing and cleaning that I am stuck.

trying not to engage

but a certain someone's insistence that he has n-word privileges is working my every nerve.

I've been around that word a lot, both from black people reclaiming it and from white people being assholes. I've had the particular phrase he thinks gives him that privilege addressed to me, not because of things my family had done, but from my family regarding things I had done, and it never for a second made me think I could say that word. Even when talking about that word, I avoid saying it, because you just DON'T SAY THAT WORD, WHITE PEOPLE. It is emotionally painful for many black people to hear those words from a white person, in any context, so it is an easy way to avoid inflicting pain on people who have already been hurt by this to just not FUCKING USE THAT WORD, JESUS. WHITE PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT ASSHOLES DON'T USE THAT WORD. ESPECIALLY WHERE OTHER PEOPLE MAY HEAR THEM. I am fully aware that I just called my grandma and several other family members assholes. Possibly a majority of my family. I stand by that.