disowned

[maevele]

I posted this elsewhere, and then remembered i have a blog.



Seriously, i caled my exstepdad today to apologize because my kid was rude to him a couple weeks ago and I've been trying to get in touch with him since, and he starts telling me how he nd his daughter and her kids are havin a quiet christmas this year. so i ask if we should still drop by with gifts for my neices, and he says no. that it seems like my mom has her two grandkids and he has his, and that's jus how it is. wtf? And that he just has this uncomfortable feeling around my family, and that its only natural for blood kin to be closer, so we're not really family anymore.

From what i can tell he and the girls are pissed at my mom because she doesn't come around, but A) that's got shitall to do with me and B) it's not like he's the one calling me regularly the last few years, I'm always calling him. And, about two years ago he got really seriously born again in some very fundamentalist exclusionary church that takes up all his time and hassled his daughter till she converted and i think his "discomfort" with my family is because we're not in his church.

I'm just really fucking hurt and angry and sad right now, because although he didn't marry my mom til i was 18, they had been dating since i was five and he moved in when i was 10. he's the only father I've even known, and although for years i didn't get along with my stepsister, i love her kids. And yeah I've lost touch wih them in the last few years, but for fuck's sake, thy're family, you don't just stop being family to someone when you lose touch. And after my mom an him divorced it was totally me, (and my mom) who kept in touch with him so he could know my son. godfuckingdammit.

and now ds is all "what does he mean? you can't just stop being family, can you?" all freaked out, and I'm struggling to explain how he doesn't have to worry that any of the rest of his family, blood or not, is gonna up and decide they aren't family.

I can't imagine anyone is still reading this longassmofo.

Comments

[chris462.livejournal.com]

Why do holidays tend to bring out the worst in people?

[ethora.livejournal.com]

I read the longassmofo. The born again fundamentalism thing is most likely at the root of this. It's a cult, you know? Still, this doesn't make it any easier for you or your kids, and there's no real way that I know of to explain this to a child your son's age except maybe to say that what your stepfather is doing is NOT normal and that YOU would never turn your back on any member of your family.

Doesn't it suck to have to stand by helplessly as our innocent children learn about the horrors of humanity? *Hugs*

[orangemike.livejournal.com]

Some of us read these longassmofos because we care about people and their pain.

Pain shared is pain divided. (Joy shared is joy multiplied.)