My mom needs more people
Dec. 10th, 2007 06:29 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
maevele
in her life, so when she starts dumping out the crazy, it doesn't all fucking land on me. I woke up yesterday to her on the phone canceling our plans. Okay mom. But apparently because she felt bad about it, every word I said about the other days she suggested were personal attacks implying nothing she does is any good, even though I was going out of my way to say nothing implying that canceling today was a problem. Then she apologizes. "ok" Followed by "Aren't you going to apologize?" "uh, well, mom, umm" Followed by "No, I'm kidding" "uh..ok mom" and then "I do think we were both wrong and should apologize"
SO HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU KIDDING, CRAZYWOMAN?
Z was ready to take the phone from me and hang up on her, because this was all immediately upon waking, and got me into tears way too fast.
2 hours later. she calls me to really apologize. Says she doesn't know why she gets like this. Blames postmenopause, her ex husband with whom she always felt guilty, and the weather. I quietly say "Zoloft?" throughout her explanations, but she will not entertain the idea that she is mentally ill. Even though this shit is a pattern with her. Where she'll just start a fight, and no matter what I do, I am guilting her, putting her down, etc, and they always end in tears, with her talking about how this is just "how we are." No. WE are not, you are. I have acknowledged my mental illness, and no longer make excuses justifying my outbursts. When I snap, and I do, my apology does not involve stories about how it's someone else's fault.
In other news, our tree is up. All 3 feet of it.
SO HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU KIDDING, CRAZYWOMAN?
Z was ready to take the phone from me and hang up on her, because this was all immediately upon waking, and got me into tears way too fast.
2 hours later. she calls me to really apologize. Says she doesn't know why she gets like this. Blames postmenopause, her ex husband with whom she always felt guilty, and the weather. I quietly say "Zoloft?" throughout her explanations, but she will not entertain the idea that she is mentally ill. Even though this shit is a pattern with her. Where she'll just start a fight, and no matter what I do, I am guilting her, putting her down, etc, and they always end in tears, with her talking about how this is just "how we are." No. WE are not, you are. I have acknowledged my mental illness, and no longer make excuses justifying my outbursts. When I snap, and I do, my apology does not involve stories about how it's someone else's fault.
In other news, our tree is up. All 3 feet of it.
