shame

[maevele]

I was thinking about all the things I'm supposed to be shamed by, according to some.

Being raised poor.
Raising kids while poor.
Being a dropout.
Being queerish,
but also for selling out my queerness by partnering with a guy
Being a slut
Having trouble with monogamy
Not conforming to beauty standards.
being mentally interesting enough that I have to take meds to be semi functioning.
having had a drinking problem.
Surviving sexual assault.
Having a messy house.

How the hell would i find time to be ashamed of all those things and still do anything else?



Fuck a bunch of that.

Comments

[vee-ecks.livejournal.com]

Most of that's extremely familiar, here. Except I have to admit to "looks privilege" when younger and even occasionally now, despite my glaring imperfections. (My teeth went yellow in middle school. Never seemed to bother anybody except a bunch of guys in seventh grade who asked me if I brushed my teeth with shit all year.)

Oh, and I never had any trauma over going back and forth between guys and gals.

[maevele.livejournal.com]

Neither trauma or privilege/lack of really fit what I mean, it's more things I'm not even supposed to admit to, they're so shameful according to some. And I guess it makes me realize why I had to say Fuck Shame a long time ago, because I would be silenced and miserable if I allowed myself to be shamed over some shit.


I mean, if I hurt someone unjustly, i'll be ashamed for that, because that's useful shame, that I can use to fix problems within myself, but to feel shame for things tht are integral parts of me? I just can't be bothered.


this was not triggered by anything on lj, oddly enough

[vee-ecks.livejournal.com]

I mean, if I hurt someone unjustly

That's about it, yeah. That, and talking shit when I don't know what I'm talking about. That lingers in memory, times when I've had to face that fact.

this was not triggered by anything on lj, oddly enough

I didn't assume it was. I just saw the list on my friends list and went "Woah."

[moondancerdrake.livejournal.com]

Fuck shame, it's for the weak! *wink*

[sparkymonster.livejournal.com]

I think the "point" of all that shame is to keep you from being able to do anything else. Like challenging the bullshit system

[seeksadventure.livejournal.com]

Yes, this.

[angrylemur.livejournal.com]

Being queerish,
but also for selling out my queerness by partnering with a guy

I've more or less accepted the fact that people are going to shame me for other things (mostly similar to your list, minus the kids) and that that shame is bullshit. But I still have trouble with this one.

[angrylemur.livejournal.com]

(Also minus not being conventionally pretty, which is weird for me to remember sometimes because I have really low self-esteem and didn't start thinking I was attractive at all, let alone in such a sense that is upheld by fucked up beauty standards, until fairly recently. It still makes me really uncomfortable to think about. Like, recognizing that privilege makes me self-absorbed when denying it is "modesty". WTF, world.)

[http://users.livejournal.com/_r0ckintheplaid/]

My list would be:

-being fat
-having a STI
-surviving sexual assault

and I'm sure more but those are the ones that come immediately to mind.