maevele | (no subject)

so since i was already full of anxiety and about to take a damn lorazepam during the day, while I was making mac and cheese and deciding whether to pill up, hq runs out to the kitchen yelling that pobo is hurt and he has no idea what happened. I run in, and she is sprawled on the bed crying, and tells me hq threw her too hard. and he fucking insists he did not, and was not even in the room. so i am freaking out, and it is pretty fucking obvious which kid is lying, and it is not the one crying. but he kept insisting, even after I told him he wouldnt get in trouble, i just needed to know what happened so I could help her if she was seriously hurt, and after WAY TOO LONG, he owned up to having fucking thrown her. she is okay now, just had the wind nocked out of her, but when a baby says her back is what hurts, i fucking panic even when i am not having anxiety, especially while in fucking insurance limbo, so if it were serious, we were fucked.

so now hq feels like shit because he realizes now that if this had been serious, he fucked up bad by not telling me what happened, and I went ahead and took a half a pill, and i am trying to not be mad at him