(no subject)

[maevele]

I hear about andrew koening's suicide, and his history of depression, and I think I'm impressed he kept fighting it til 41. Like, that is a long ass time to fight this battle and finally lose, because of how many times he had to have won to make it past 40.

then I remember that no matter how many tools you develop to keep winning battle by battle, this war is still often fatal. I can't get overconfident about how long I have held out without killing myself. It could still get worse

Comments

[raanve]

I think about this same thing.

*hugs*

It's hard. But we're not alone. Sometimes I think if we can keep sight of that, we can survive.

[dingsi]

Lots of agreement here. When I first went into therapy a few years ago I still thought that soon I'd be "cured" completely and the depression would be gone forever. I had to come to terms with the realisation that it doesn't work like that.

Also, your icon really touched a nerve (in a good way). It sucks when I feel bad AND on top of this feel guilty about feeling bad, because of the internalized belief that my depression is somehow my fault and I just need to "pull [myself] up by the bootstraps", "try harder", "smile more" etc. So thank you.

[jesse_the_k]

This.

[softestbullet]

Yeah. :\