maevele | degrinchified

I've never really been a big christmas person, only celebrated it out of like family obligation or whatever, and sorta disliked the whole fucking hooplah. even after hq was born, we kept it pretty low key and I've been one of those evile parents who doesn't play along with the santa thing and told hq that santa was just pretend.

then last year i was on antidepressants at the holidays and got more into it, threw a holiday party, etc etc.

Now this year, I am on even better antidepressants, and am going full on fucking christmas insane, we already have the tree, are making christmas presents, watching every damn xmas special, and, here's the funny part, started planting doubt about the nonexistance of santa for hq. as in, "you know, i really have no PROOF that santa isn't real, maybe he just doesn't come to houses where people don't believe" and now hq has decided to try to believe in him. we wrote our letter to santa today, and at least a couple of the santa items will show up xmas morn.

I'm just so amused that all these years i didn't really hate xmas, I just needed meds.

And now that my stepdad dumped me, i have no obligation to celebrate, because we always just did xmas at his place. I always wished i could just say "we aren't doing christmas anymore, sorry" and now that i could, I'm going full balls the other direction, and having folks over and everything.