Thinking about making some changes

[maevele]

and developing goals and shit instead of just surviving. There's things I want to work on and things I should work on, and there is little in common betwixt the two.

Should work on: keeping a clean house, finding more income, spending hours in therapy

Want to work on: music, creating, meditating, getting strong physically, enjoying my life.

Comments

[elf]

Consider that second list all lumped under Category 3 of the first list.

Nobody ever looked up on their deathbed and said, "I wish I'd vacuumed more often."

[maevele]

yeah, I'm just fighting this notion that all "real" self work happens in a therapist's office.

[jesse_the_k]

I'm seeing a pattern in your posts of the last few months. Karaoke + increasing self-confidence often used in service of facing Z's shit in the eye. Evidence of "real" self work at work.

[maevele]

You are not wrong.

[trinker]

I haven't been to a therapist's office since I left X last year. I've done huge amounts of work, though. All the second list is the kind of stuff I was doing.

[maevele]

I've gone to like three proper shrink appointments and I'm going to group twice a month on average. I feel like both of those combined have done less for me lately than one good night at karaoke or the night I stayed up til four am painting. Group was hugely useful in confirming that yeah, that shit was abuse and how I feel about it is okay, and my therapist did pretty much the same shit, but backed up with a degree. I think as long as I have good people to talk some shit out with, therapy is optional for me right now and not the best use of my minimal free time.

[(Anonymous)]

I found that once I was healthy enough to cope with social time with people who were themselves healthy but sensitive/understanding about my issues, it was far more healing than hanging out solely in survivor spaces.

I've found a lot of comfort in "way past the trauma, but been there done that" folks.

[maevele]

That makes sense, yeah