wiscon panel signups

[maevele]

are up. and every year I get so fucking excited, and sign up for panels, and then wind up so overwhelmed that I drop at least one, and have angst about getting up in front of people and being on a panel, so maybe I shouldn't volunteer for any panels this year?

but goddamn, I want to sign up for the mary daly panel and rant about her true legacy to feminism, and there are class panels! and intersectionality panels, and a bunch of others I'd love to be on, maybe. But I know the more actually scheduled I am for the con, the more stressed I will be. but I feel even more a part of the con if I am on a panel or two. But I never really have enough to say on a panel to justify taking up a seat, but I don't want to be that person who rants too much from the audience. Maybe I should just sign up for the Daly one, and get that shit off my chest? Or trust that someone else in the wiscon community, who is maybe better at public speaking, is gonna cover what I wanted to say, and I'll just go to the panel, and speak up as needed?

heh, I could offer to moderate it and shut down everyone who tries to defend Daly.


aaaaargh, I don't know.

Comments

[littlebutfierce]

I have mega Imposter Syndrome when it comes to WisCon panels. So much so that I wouldn't even sign up to be on the Imposter Syndrome panel, bwahaha.

[wired]

This is entirely why I suggested the panel. Because so many of us feel like that.

[jesse_the_k]

Yeah, I had an internal dialog that was first what lbf said and then what you just said. And still passed on being on the panel. Maybe I should go back?

[littlebutfierce]

Hee, I know. And I'm sure it's not just me & jesse_the_k who are reacting this way, alas!

[rhivolution]

I'd never heard of that, so I had to google and am now stunned because it's so damn true.

[laceblade]

What is Imposter Syndrome??

[maevele]

the sense that you're fooling people into believing you are worth hanging out with, basically

[maevele]

in my case anyway. also in like professional situations and shit

[sparkymonster]

*shifty eyes to both*


*more shifty eyes*


I would never spend hours in therapy talking about that. WHY DO YOU ASK

[littlebutfierce]

(Oh man, don't take this icon personally, but I almost never get a chance to use it & I love it, hahaha.)

Basically what maevele said, but also for me specifically stuff like feeling like I'm faking that I know as much about anything as I do (like I am not informed/eloquent enough to be on a race panel, someone just asked to interview me for a blog b/c of Vegans of Color & referred to me as an "expert" & I was like, what?!?, etc.). Or... I get Imposter Syndrome sometimes at work when I hear that the other PAs are doing something I don't, & had never thought of doing--maybe it's cuz I'm a bad PA, blah blah.

[sparkymonster]

WAHT?!!?!

OMG I would love to hear you on a panel. Don't make me grab you out of the audience! I can make vegan baked goods and wield them.

[littlebutfierce]

Aw, man, thank you! Coming from someone as awesome as you especially that is v. flattering! (I was on the veg*nism panel a couple of years ago but still feel Imposter-y about most other things, alas! Which sucks cuz I actually kinda like public speaking...)

[dharma_slut]

heh, I could offer to moderate it and shut down everyone who tries to defend Daly.

That's a very conflicting way to put it.

[maevele]

well, sometimes a mods job is just to tell people to shut the fuck up with their hateful apologist shit, innit?

Maybe I shouldn't mod.

[dharma_slut]

Giving women classes of their own so that they could not be overrun by the men?

I cried when I heard about that. That was world changing. My daughter can take it for granted now, but I could not. And I can't not honor her for that one thing.

Intersectionality is a bitch. *shrug*

[maevele]

see, and to me, the damage she did to the feminist movement with her trans hatred overshadows even that good, and her language work, so I see her as more of a detriment to feminism than anything.

[dharma_slut]

yeah I know. But a mod's job is NOT to absolutely control the conversation. That particular panel is to *discuss* MD-- and you have to allow the discussion. You can't win the debate by not allowing the debate.

[maevele]

yeah, the saying I want to mod it was just shit talking, to be honest. I'm just concerned there will be fail and minimizing of the trans hatred. But I ain't gonna mod nothing, especially not where I have an angry agenda. I just have to decide whether to be on the panel at all, or to trust my agenda will be presented by others.

[dharma_slut]

If you do you have to think about how much energy it will cost you, and make sure you really really know your stuff.

And then think again about the energy costs, please. You are not in the best of places right now, and i say that as has been there and will go there again. But right now-- me, I could probably do it without self destructing, you, I worry about.

[dharma_slut]

So I am demanding that you take care of yourself.

DEMANDING, YOU HEAR ME?

[maevele]

I'm less concerned than I would usually be, because I am a different person at wiscon. That weekend, I can do anything, with no social anxiety. Karaoke, speaking in front of people, having dinner with famous authors, anything. And for someone with anxiety, there are certain types of conflicts that I thrive on, especially with people I am not emotionally invested with. and we're hotelling up, so if I need my own space to recoup after a stressful panel, I'm cool. and it'd almost be harder on me to be in the audience, with a bunch of shit to say, and having to stand up for my chance to say it, both literally ad figuratively. and like, if the panel goes horribly, and I'm not on it, I'm powerless, and will wind up just as hurt by people saying dumbass shit than if I was on it. But still less hurt than some people would be, because Daly wasn't beating up on me personally. And it's wiscon, where more people get it than don't, generally speaking.

i'm going to keep weighing it out til panel sign up closes, and kinda role play all possible scenarios in my head.

but I will make sure to keep my stress levels in consideration. If I sign up for that one, I'll only pick one other to be on, and make sure it is something FUN.

[maevele]

shit, then I look at the other panels I want to sign up for, and it's like, the mental illness in sf panel, which doesn't really qualify as fun and fluff. lol. and there's like 5 I'd groove on. just gonna think on it

[wrdnrd]

Oh man, having a crash space AT THE CON has been so, so, SO important for me. I'm glad you guys are hotelling up this year. Last year after i mod-ed the class panel my roommates and some friends and i crashed hardcore in our hotel room and drank mimosas for most of sunday afternoon.

[maevele]

I know! I was dithering on at Z about signing up for panels, and how I wound up so tired I blew one off last year, and committing to particular times is hard, and he was like, "yeah, that shit was hard when you were commuting 25 minutes each way, not 2 minutes away in the hotel" and I was like "!!!" and started signing up for shit

[laceblade]

I'm secretly excited about moving farther away next year so that I can possibly justify considering getting a room at the con.

Right now I live 2.5 blocks away, and even *I* can't justify that, :D

[sparkymonster]

Yeah. There are things I won't mod, because I know myself to well and I would unfairly shut people the fuck down or simply take over.

[wrdnrd]

The class panels!! I KNOW! And i didn't even suggest any of them this year. I AM SO EXCITED! \o/

[maevele]

AND WE WILL HAVE EACH OTHERS' BACK IN CASE OF BULLSHITTERY

[heyfoureyes]

seeing this post motivated me to sign up for panels. my first time!

when. . .when do we find out what panels we are going to be on?

[bifemmefatale.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I saw that panel and thought, "Hoo boy. Here it comes, the WisCon Fail of 2010."

[maevele.livejournal.com]

naw, the point of that panel better be "look how fucked up this shit was, we can't pretend this isn't part of feminism aaaaaaaarrrrgh" or I will become moderator by mutiny, and make the conversation be that.

maybe I should sign up for that one

[seaya.livejournal.com]

Well, the description is all flowery remembrance and such. BUt we all know we can change things on site :-D.

[porcinea.livejournal.com]

Um, it's not any kind of flowery remembrance, actually. "What is Mary Daly's legacy to radical feminism? What would you write in your letter to Mary?"

http://books.google.com/books?id=r3Ct8Qw3de8C&pg=PA66

[seaya.livejournal.com]

Well it should have explicitly mentioned the bad stuff. You know like on the one hand here's the good and on the other hand here's the bad. Now, what do you think.

I have read that letter before, but that subtle phrasing in the description didn't ping me.

Perhaps I am stupid, but I would have gotten the inclusiveness of the panel to all point of view had it been more explicit.

[seeksadventure.livejournal.com]

Mod it! MOD IT! Or at least be on it! I want to watch that!

[maevele.livejournal.com]

I've acknowledged i should not mod it, because I have such an agenda and would totally make people shut up for saying stupid things/disagreeing with me. But I signed up to be on it

[seeksadventure.livejournal.com]

Yes, I can see how that is the better plan. I hope you end up on it, because I do want to see how the panel goes.