and now

[maevele]

Z and I got into it on the phone. and it was stupid, but it got ugly again. I had suggested earlier this week that he only take the kids one night this weekend, and he insisted he didn't want to, he'd take them both nights. And he changed his mind, and I was like, okay, I'll have to rearrange what plans I made based on you saying you'd have them all weekend, and it bugs me that you say that if the kids are expecting to be at your house all weekend you don't want to disappoint them, but you're okay with changing what you told me you'd do.

And then we got into how he always gives me so much time, and I am so irresponsible, and at one point he tried to pin his abusive behavior on my irresponsibility, and when I imply that maybe some of the ways I act fucked up at him are a result of the abuse, and he never gets to do what he wants either, and I'm saying everything is his fault, and on and on. What the fuck ever, piss off.

So I may only get one night off this weekend, and I am not cancelling my coffee date, so I have to pick between going dancing and staying home to clean and relax.

Comments

[heyfoureyes]

he is a broken record. I wonder if couples counseling would be useful as "this is how we can communicate productively" instead of "this is me blaming you again for being irresponsible bla bla bla."

re: the kids -- how are they doing? do they understand what's going on?

[maevele]

I think couple's counselling would backfire in that he'd start thinking of us as a Couple again, and fuck no. If it was called communication counselling or something, I'd consider it.

The kids are doing excellent. They both recognize that it's better this way, and that everyone is happier without the anger and fear, and they're getting plenty of time with him and it's better time than it was.