maevele | and now (Reply)

Z and I got into it on the phone. and it was stupid, but it got ugly again. I had suggested earlier this week that he only take the kids one night this weekend, and he insisted he didn't want to, he'd take them both nights. And he changed his mind, and I was like, okay, I'll have to rearrange what plans I made based on you saying you'd have them all weekend, and it bugs me that you say that if the kids are expecting to be at your house all weekend you don't want to disappoint them, but you're okay with changing what you told me you'd do.

And then we got into how he always gives me so much time, and I am so irresponsible, and at one point he tried to pin his abusive behavior on my irresponsibility, and when I imply that maybe some of the ways I act fucked up at him are a result of the abuse, and he never gets to do what he wants either, and I'm saying everything is his fault, and on and on. What the fuck ever, piss off.

So I may only get one night off this weekend, and I am not cancelling my coffee date, so I have to pick between going dancing and staying home to clean and relax.