I haven't posted about

[maevele]

the Kynn thing other than in comments on other people's posts. I'm having a hard time, not just because I at least sort of know everyone involved, but because I am seeing a lot of similar responses from our mutual friends in this case to the responses I am getting from mutual friends of Z and mine when I tell them he was abusive. sometimes automatically jumping to your friend's side is not the right thing to do, particularly if you believe the person they hurt.

Comments

[flourish]

I dig that, and I hope my response to it isn't one of the ones that troubles you, but whether it is or not, I hope things get better. I mean not that they do on their own... I mean... urgh, what I basically mean is 'I hear you'!

[maevele]

No, it wasn't yours in particular, don't fret. Thanks

[softestbullet]

I've been worried about you. I'm sorry to hear it's been hard. *offers hugs*

[maevele]

thank you *accepts hugs*

[sparkymonster]

That sounds like it's really hard. I hope ppl start acting better

[eriktrips]

I haven't said much either, but I have only interacted with Kynn a few times and have no great personal stake in how this continues to unfold, beyond a gut feeling that her accuser is telling the truth. I don't know him at all. But my gut is usually reliable.

I'm sorry it's been hard for you to be reading responses from other people. I imagine it could be uncomfortably familiar to see people defending her. I also imagine that denial is a fairly strong force when good friends are accused of abusive or violent behavior, but it would be nice if people could try to step back and consider that abusers are almost always just regular people and that it can, indeed, be true of someone you love that they did something terribly wrong.