AAAAAnxiety

[maevele]

is back. yay! in part, i think, it's because I never get to be still anymore. Unless I'm nursing the baby, but then I'm tensed up because HQ is a loud child, who startles the baby constantly when she's nursing, so even then I'm not relaxed. And it turns out Idgie soothes to active movement, so whenever she's all (i hate to type it out) coliccy, I have to be moving all the time, and once she calms down i have to keep moving. And normally i am a pretty still person, unless I'm DOING something. but now I have to be rocking or swinging, or finally having a few minutes to play with HQ, which certainly involves movement, and it's making me twitchy and anxious as fuck. Like, wishing i had some valium, or a significant amount of whiskey anxious.

Z has taken both kids to the store with him so i can just not move for a while. I actually started crying when HQ freaked out about not wanting to go with. wugh