Give yourself a set amount of time to destress: "I get the next 30 minutes to do whatever the fuck I want." - turn off phone, turn off internet. Put on the music you want, yell, read a book, eat something you like, whatever. Don't make yourself available for shit, and take the whole time.
When you're done with that, remember you can make it through this, you made it through shit before, and this is just another hassle. List your options, list your choices, and see what you can make work. Ask for help, without shame or guilt.
You're having some hiccups right now with the finances, but they will get sorted out. Things may not turn out exactly as you want them to, but that doesn't mean they won't still turn out well. And they may very well come out just as you hope they will.
It may be that the new place will work with y'all on the co-signer issue. It may be that you have a friend or relative who's in a position to co-sign and you just haven't had a chance to talk with them yet.
This doesn't have to all be resolved immediately. And it will all be resolved, it will be okay. Y'all will get it sorted out.
Repeating the breathing thing. It's amazing how much reminding myself to breathe can help when I'm freaking out. Inhale for three counts, hold for three counts, exhale for three counts, hold for three counts - repeat for as long as you need to, and then check in and make sure you're breathing in and out normally after that.
I've also found that pacing, bouncing a ball, chewing gum or hard candy really obnoxiously, drumming, or ripping paper can help if I've got stored up anger and/or anxiety. It allows your body to DO something with that energy, which helps the body expel some of the bound up emotion - like it accesses the fight or flight response and calms it down because you're doing something, which your body needs in that state.
Otherwise, letting out a good long loud cry can help, too, if it's more of the sad kind of stress/anxiety.
Write down all the things stressing you out and then set it aside and watch something that's sure to make you laugh no matter how bad you feel, then after laughing for awhile, come back to the list and see if it's more manageable.
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branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2010-06-29 09:44 pm (UTC)When you're done with that, remember you can make it through this, you made it through shit before, and this is just another hassle. List your options, list your choices, and see what you can make work. Ask for help, without shame or guilt.
no subject
Date: 2010-06-29 09:49 pm (UTC)Breathe, slowly and deeply.
Now, remember that this will all be okay.
It will.
You're having some hiccups right now with the finances, but they will get sorted out. Things may not turn out exactly as you want them to, but that doesn't mean they won't still turn out well. And they may very well come out just as you hope they will.
It may be that the new place will work with y'all on the co-signer issue. It may be that you have a friend or relative who's in a position to co-sign and you just haven't had a chance to talk with them yet.
This doesn't have to all be resolved immediately. And it will all be resolved, it will be okay. Y'all will get it sorted out.
Keep breathing.
*hugs you more*
no subject
Date: 2010-06-29 10:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-29 11:57 pm (UTC)I've also found that pacing, bouncing a ball, chewing gum or hard candy really obnoxiously, drumming, or ripping paper can help if I've got stored up anger and/or anxiety. It allows your body to DO something with that energy, which helps the body expel some of the bound up emotion - like it accesses the fight or flight response and calms it down because you're doing something, which your body needs in that state.
Otherwise, letting out a good long loud cry can help, too, if it's more of the sad kind of stress/anxiety.
Write down all the things stressing you out and then set it aside and watch something that's sure to make you laugh no matter how bad you feel, then after laughing for awhile, come back to the list and see if it's more manageable.
Get someone to give you a massage??
no subject
Date: 2010-06-29 09:49 pm (UTC)