fuck money

[maevele]

I'm, um, 700 dollars short on december's fucking rent yet once my check gets here. My mom is basically splitting her xmas money with me, she pays, I shop, we split who gives what to the kids, so christmas is okay, but I don't have the fucking rent because I had to pay the power bill last month. I can't do this. I've been trying not to have a breakdown over it, but that shit is slipping now. I can not get caught up, even with all of the help people have given. What I get at tax time is going to all go to pay what I'll be short on rent through the spring, so I won't be able to put anything aside for moving money. I fucking refuse to lose my shit over money, but I have never been this fucked for this long before, with the kids depending on me, so it's getting harder and harder to not get depressed over it. I just get further behind every month.

I'd still rather be scared about money than scared about him though, so it'll all be okay.