oh, I am just fucked, I tell you

[maevele]

No matter how I twist and turn the numbers, at absolute best I can pay 2/3 of this months rent once Z pays me the rest of my share for this month. And not the electric bill. I AM SSOOOOOOOOOO FFUUUUUUUCCCCKKKED. I keep trying to think of anything I can sell, and I seriously have nothing left that's worth enough to make any difference here. The van is fucking worthless and not sellable until it's running and NOT filling the whole neighborhood with gray smoke, because that puts a buyer off pretty fucking fast. My landlord has cut me so much slack, but she's going to have to evict me if I keep not being able to pay her. My whole plan of having just enough to get by was totally dependent on getting cash assistance from the state, and without that I just do not see how I can make it. If I could double my workload, I could almost keep up, but I'm barely keeping up with what I've got right now, and they just don't have enough clients to give me anymore work.

I fucking hate being upset about money, but it is actually still better than being less worried about money and more worried about his rage. Worst case, I get evicted and am temporarily homeless, and I guess he would get the kids, even though his work schedule doesn't work with them, at least until I could arrange housing again. That's actually less scary than the rage.

I'd be almost willing to do full on sex work at this point, if it would get me the rent money, but no one is lining up to throw big money for a shot at me and I don't know if I could handle it emotionally. I don't know what the fuck to do. I guess I'll repost the fucking donate button, but I'd almost rather whore and steal than beg again, and I know people are sick of my begging.

Comments

[jesse_the_k]

"people who are sick of begging", if they exist, can turn to the next fucking tab, full stop.

[badgerbag]

You can usually just call the electric people and say Hey i can only send you 10 dollars this month (or wahtever) Ask for a payment plan. they keep your electricity on for quite a while if you are making any sort of effort. In other words never pay that whole bill till you are flush with cash. leave it till last. Phone (land lines ) were the same - not sure of cells.