GTFO SQUIRREL!

[maevele]

Okay, so i go to head to merchant of doom to get the crazy pills, and I start to open my van when i see something moving. THERE WAS A MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL ON MY DRIVERS SEAT FUCKING WITH MY STEERING WHEEL.
I had sinbad with me, so I didn't actually run screaming, but I shrieked a little, Opened my passenger side door, screamed "GET THE FUCK OUT MY VAN, YOU FUCKING SQUIRREL"

(which Sinbad repeated word for word, at full volume. )


(I'm going to hell.)



Then the squirrel threw itself at my driver's side window a few times, panicked, and skittered out the way it had gotten in, throuh my 2 inch wide open back vent window, that I leave open to keep my van from stinking. Now on, the van can smell like ass, that shit will be closed. Sindab thinks when the squirrel gets big it can drive my van. i said the squirrel can get his own damn vehicle.


I am sick of these motherfucking squirrels in my motherfucking van.

Comments

[lisaquestions]

Squirrels can be aggressive motherfuckers.

This story is both cute and disturbing - cute because, hey, squirrel and Sinbad. Disturbing because, hey, squirrel *in your driver's seat*. God knows what those motherfucking squirrels were doing in your motherfucking van in the dark of night.

[maevele]

okay, and like, all I coould think once i got in and was driving, was WHAT IF THAT MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL WAS NOT ALONE? I knew Sinbad was on the squirrel's side, cuz she kept telling me how nice they were, so she wouldn't tell me if there were more in the van.

[lisaquestions]

Yes, exactly.

[raanve]

I read this aloud to my spouse and we both LOLed.

Though, you know, I'm sorry about your misfortune. (Trust Sinbad to side with the squirrels. Eesh.)

[contrarywise]

It's been a while since I had a vehicular B&E by a non-human animal (aside from bugs, which are too small to keep out no matter what), but yeah, motherfucking squirrels.

I'm mostly just popping in to say "o hai thar, i see you added me!" and that I've added you back. I'm not sure where/how you found me, but I'm glad you did, as we seem to have similar interests and stuff going on re: gender. So, um, hi! *waves*

[maevele]

I did the whole interests in common thing, and you scored high, so i added you. I was on an ading binge.